Bittersweet

Today was a very bittersweet day for me, I said goodbye to my class. These kids were my first class teaching Jr High, and it was very tough to see them leave. Two years ago, when I was asked to move up to the Jr High, I was scared, actually I was terrified beyond belief. But that first day, two years ago, I was given the best gift, this amazing class. From that first day, we bonded, they made endless jokes about me being from Ferndale, and also about anything else they could think of, they were sweet, they were friends, they were intelligent, and they were above all, fun.

I, of course, had another class last year, but when I would go home and tell stories about school, the stories always revolved around this class. They are the type of people all parents hope their kids will be like. They are honest, caring, sweet, and a little rowdy, but a fun rowdy. I have never laughed so much, as I have with them.

I loved getting to school early, because I knew some kids from that class would be waiting for me, and we would just chat. I truly enjoyed getting to know things about them that had nothing to do with school, just about their lives. I went to endless volleyball, football, and basketball games, I even went to some baseball games, just to stay connected with these amazing kids.

When I got pregnant, it was a very exciting time for me, but this group of kids were also super excited. The day after I told them I was pregnant, they started bringing the baby gifts, and the gifts came until she was born, and then long after too. Today, I feel a little sad knowing that I missed 3 months of time with this group of kids. I wouldn't trade my time with Addie for the world, but I just wish I had three more months with them to even everything out.

Being pregnant and having a child has made me look at the kids differently. I would look at them and think, "Is my kid going to be like this kid, or that kid?" My hope is that my children will grow up to be like these students, they have set the standard high for my expectations from my kids. I truly feel that before I even had Addie, I already had kids, these 70 or so kids were mine. I spent more time with them in the past two years, than I did my own family, so in a way I consider them family.

I have been watching the countdown on my white board for days, and the number kept getting smaller and smaller, and the pit in my stomach grew a little bigger each day. Today, when I wrote "0 days left" I was sad, it was the end. Then at 12:15, when the final bell rang for the school year, and kids with elephant tears started hugging me, I was heartbroken. I want them to stay, but I know they must go on to high school, where they will all be so successful.

I guess I am lucky to have a job that I am so passionate about, not everyone gets that, and I know that this is the process of teaching and watching the kids you care about for years leave, its just a little bittersweet today.


This is what was left on my board at the end of the day :)